The Move...

Wrong Kind of "Bump and Grind"

Especially for Black folk, R. Kelly presents a classic, but troubling, archetype of pedophilia and narcissism. It's an archetype that echoes to me when I contemplate the behaviors exhibited by my ex-wife prior and even subsequent to our failed marriage.

Pedophiles are extreme narcissists - so self-absorbed and sociopathically oblivious to the welfare of others, their sexual deviance is not siimply predation, it's their attempt to reclaim their own youth, wanting to be desired and lusted after by those who are fresh and nubile. So swept up in imagining they're wanted by their targets, pedophiles will characterize themselves as the ones being preyed upon. This explains the disturbing persistence of Mary K. Letourno, who couldn't keep away from her young victim, despite repeated discovery and jailings.

A young, talented brother, during the course of conversation, offered a conscious stricken confession: in the aftermath of my own incarceration for false charges of domestic violence levied by Dominique, my ex, he'd slept with her after she seduced him. When he refused to believe the tales she wove about me, she abruptly and scornfully spurned him.

I quickly absolved him of any guilt over feeling like there was "foulness" on his part owning to our friendship, assuring him I held no ill feelings. I truly felt compassion for him. Knowing his character and wisdom belied his age, I felt that any guilt lay at her feet not his; that he had been preyed upon by a succubus. Nor was he a lone victim.

My relationship/marriage with Dominique was difficult to say the least. There were her incessant lies and there was indeed violence, ironically wielded by her hands not mine (being a man's man and a trained fighter, I'd hardly break man-code by calling the police on a woman, much less my own wife). 

The beginning of our relationship was marked by a feud with her ex-boyfriend and baby daddy Nick. With clear ill intent aimed at her, he divulged a story to me meant to be a jaw-dropper: years prior, while working at an alternative charter school, Dom seduced and got pregnant by one of her sophomore students.

It was a story I initially dismissed as a vicious and vile rumor, but time and tribulations of my own would have me seriously pondering the question:  was my wife - a devoted mother, celebrated poet, brilliant, beautiful, and creative - actually a salacious pedophile?

To be continued.....

First Lie...

In the earliest of our courtship, I was head over heels in love with D...I had no idea of what I was doing or getting into, but I knew with passing days, I was going to marry her.  Little did I know that her insecurities were driving her to marry me as well - or at least convince me to do so...

The very first instance of manipulation came when D told me that someone on Facebook had "anonymously"sent her a pic of me and my ex wife cozied up together - as if to taunt her.

I believed it and became livid and called Asiyah about it. She denied it and proceed to lay into me about the stories and rumors she had heard about Dominique and that she was making all this up to convince me to be with her.

"Nonsense", I obviously thought - Asiyah was just clearly jealous that I was leaving her and hooking up with such a gorgeous wonderful woman...

Of course, I never asked Dom to actually show me what she got and later realized that she had been cyberstalking my and Asiyah's profile and saw the picture and got jealous and more insecure and used it to manipulate me.  Not that I needed to be - I was hers already. Not to mention, I wasn't exactly up on the politics of Facebook stalking...yet...

Later came more lies, like my friend Musa asking her to marry her in spite of D and I already being engaged. Then there were lies about her exboyfriend stalking her new residence...

Then came the next in a long running series of "I am being stalked" - and this one is a doozy.

Next episode... :-)